Stop, Drop, and Roll

I admit it.  I am blessed! 

Despite my genuine dissatisfaction with my general proportions, there are a few of my particulars with which I’m more than satisfied.  My eye lashes are long and thick.  My hair is full bodied and manageable.  And, in spite of the fact that they are attached to some rather short and pudgy fingers, my nails are stand outs!  Quick to grow and able to withstand most of the daily challenges that threaten both length and longevity, they are a pride and joy.   Others in the household, however, are not so blessed. 

And so it was that on a recent trip to the drugstore my roommate decided to purchase a full set of nails more fabulous than the one’s I had received by birthright.  French manicure extensions to be exact.  It was love at first sight.  Why hadn’t she thought of this before?  Yes, they would require care and perhaps even a lifestyle adjustment.  After all, her nails could no longer be considered tools.  No scraping, screwing, tapping, picking, or flicking!  These nails were for looking good and look good they did.  At least, that is, until the fire. 

I was not witness to the unfortunate turn of events.  I didn’t smell smoke nor did I see the flame.  Apparently, however, there had been no need to STOP, DROP AND ROLL.  The index finger fire, which occurred while lighting a candle, had done little more than badly color a once beautifully white tipped acrylic extension.  The perfect nails had lasted less than three days.     The fire was soon followed by an escape.  My roommate spotted the detached acrylic extension on the solarium tile floor.  Can you blame the poor thing?  If I’d seen my neighbor go up in flames, I’d make a break for it to.  With some spray glue and a strategically placed band aid, she reapplied the nail and made it through a Sunday church service with the extensions still in place.  Nevertheless, one by one, the nails leapt to their death. 

Before week’s end all nail extensions had been removed and my roommate was bemoaning the now ragged and weakened remains of her finger nails. I offered to share my nail buff and in a true gesture of friendship broke two of my own nails.   I don’t yet know whether my roommate will give the nail extensions one more try but in the meantime I’m pricing fire extinguishers.

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